|Me, after my goodbyes.|
At least that’s what I could make out from facebook.
I’m sitting at home right now, looking at all those smiles and smileys, with a part of me wishing I was back there right now, just for a day, an hour, or even a minute. People commonly call that part a heart.
Yes, I know I went through all this six months ago. You’d think saying goodbye brings closure. Turns out it doesn’t.
Earlier this month, I was going back home from Baroda in a Volvo. After the scheduled movie (Dum Maaro Dum) was over, the conductor shifted to songs, while I shifted to earphones. I thought I haven’t opened my phone’s gallery for a while, so I started exploring.
There I stumbled upon some video clips from my last semester. I hadn’t looked at them even once since I left, afraid of being hit with bouts of nostalgia.
Anyway, I got over it and started watching. This is an excerpt from one of the videos. It’s Rishav’s Birthday. Gunjeet is recording.
“Nahi jab main keh raha hoon mujhe nahi pitna !”
That was Ujjawal. We were done beating up Rishav. No, it wasn’t his birthday too.
Rahul: “Abe kya baat kar raha hai, tu kabhi nahi pita??!! Ek baar toh banta hai saale.”
Ujjawal: ” Haan toh phir main maarta bhi nahi na kisi ko. “
Me: “Abe mujhe dekh, aajtak kisi ko nahi maara phir bhi pit ta rehta hoon.”
Rahul(before anyone can respond): “Haan phir tu ch****** hai na.”
Everyone bursts out laughing, amongst which the cameraman’s laughter could be clearly heard. Including me, the butt of Rahul’s jokes the entire semester.
I started snorting as well. Being a public place, I had to keep it down. Most people would think a guy would regret being the victim of someone else’s jokes for six months, but not me. I never really had a problem with it. Now, I miss it.
Whatever you through in your college life, the highlights are never the sixes and fours. They’re never your most ‘successful’ moments, or your most romantic one.. not even the memory of getting a job. But those random chains of thought leading to uncontrollable gales of wild laughter, those stick. If you call college a roller coaster ride, I don’t think any of us enjoy the ride as much as screaming together while it happens.
A few days ago, I had a dream. Nishit, Raman and I were walking to a bench at the back of a class. Just before we sat down, I said Raman, and Nishit started his wild laughter, which itself got me going.
And then I woke up. Those are the only ten seconds I remember. But they were enough to make me miss some very special times. There was a pang of guilt for not talking to Nishit for so long.
I don’t know if others will or have experienced anything similar, but this isn’t even the tip of the iceberg. People say these four years are the golden years of your life. Even so, I’d like to think and hope that, this was just one roller coaster, and there’s an entire carnival waiting out there.